


A Wedding Tail

by Pandora (paperclipbutterfly)



Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: All The Ships, Gen, Marriage, One Shot, Slice of Life, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-11-02 09:28:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10941654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paperclipbutterfly/pseuds/Pandora
Summary: Judy Hopps' wedding day has arrived, and all the mammals in Zootopia have just one question on their minds: Who is the lucky betrothed? Silly one shot taking place in Koslov's Palace Spa as coworkers Beverly, Janice, and Biddy argue who the famous bunny will be tying the knot with and putting their money where their ships are.Zootopia is owned by Disney, yaddy yada... I'm just having a little fun in their world. I hope you all enjoy.





	A Wedding Tail

<We’re just ten minutes away from the processional, ladies and gentlemammals, and let me just say that there are no words to describe the scene here, but we at ZNN will …>

Another bit of hoof catapulted into Beverly’s face and bounced off her nose as she strained to hear the radio over the Palace din. She sighed and picked up a steel file, resigned that she would miss every last juicy bit of the most anticipated event of the whole year and have to catch it replaying on Ewetube after her shift.

It wasn’t fair! After everything that had happened last year, Judy Hopps’ wedding should have been considered a flippin’ city-wide holiday. But nooooo. Here Beverly was, stuck at work trimming Mrs. Woolington’s overgrown hooves with a clipper two sizes too big and struggling to hear even the tiniest details from the ancient radio set in the corner.

“At least Mr. Koslov could wheel out a TV so we can _see_ the ceremony,” Beverly lamented quietly as she set the file to work on the splintered hoof in her paw. Her coworker Janice, a pretty wallaby with a bored expression on her face, just rolled her eyes.

“Your fascination with this rabbit’s nuptials borders on the insane, Bev,” she said as she worked out a particularly gnarly mat from the vixen’s tail she was brushing. “It’s downright unhealthy.”

“Jan, you don’t understand just how _important_ this is!” the young stoat insisted, still filing away. “The whole wedding springs up into being practically overnight, and even the best journalist outfits _still have no idea who she's marrying._ ”

“I imagine that says something about the amount of attention she wanted, huh?” Janice gave up and picked up her scissors to snip the knot carefully out instead. Her ears pricked up with an air of slight curiosity. “No one knows who she’s marrying? For real?”

“The pool is closing in five if you still want in, by the way,” Biddy commented as she walked past them with a tub of hot water in her arms. “Smart money is on that fox partner of hers.”

“You hush your snout, you old goat,” Bev said. “You don’t know _what_ you’re talking about. I mean, it’s all fine if a mammal’s into that kind of… _thing_. But ever since that hare from the ZIA has been in Zootopia there have been at least _a dozen_ confirmed sightings of them together. Dinners, drinks, coffee… you can’t tell me that they wouldn’t look _amazing_ together.”

“Things are different nowadays, my dear. Mammals don’t have to stick with their order anymore, and as far as looking amazing together, well… let’s just say that particular thought is a matter of opinion.” Biddy put the bucket down beneath an old bear’s paws and started in on the hot stone massage. “Of which yours is entirely wrong, by the way,” she added with a smirk.

Bev snorted as Biddy started pleasant small talk with her customer, and leaned over toward Janice. “What _she_ doesn’t know is my brother-in-law’s cousin runs the Mammal’s Warehouse downtown, and _he_ said that Nick Wilde was in last week for a suit and only said he was _in_ a wedding, not that he was _having_ a wedding, so I think that’s pretty definitive evidence, don’t you?”

“Mmm hmm,” Jan said. “Sure, Bev…”

The radio in the corner crackled with a moment of static. All ears perked up as the working mammals paused to listen to the returning commentary. <… and with an estimated 3000 rabbit relatives and friends in attendance, it’s no wonder the ceremony is taking place out in Bunnyburrow today. Could you imagine the spectacle in Zootopia if…?>

“Dear, I do think you’re almost at the nub.” Beverly snapped back to see Mrs. Woolington looking anxiously at her hooves. She hadn’t stopped filing through the whole conversation she had with Biddy and Janice, and she’d almost scraped it straight down to the bed.

“Oh, Mrs. Woolington, I’m so sorry!” Bev evened out the hoof quickly and grabbed a hot towel from the basket beside her station. “Are you okay?”

“It’s fine, don’t worry. I do believe,” she added with a wink, “that I may not need a touch up for a bit longer than usual, no?”

Bev gave a nervous chuckle, still recovering from the scare. “That’s for sure! You keep that hot towel. Let’s get your wool trimmed up for the summer over here.”

As Bev took the old sheep away to another area for a shear, Janice finished trimming up the vixen’s ears and passed her the mirror. “Looks like that’ll about do it, Victoria. Take a look, what do you think?”

“Oh, that’s so much better!” The vixen turned this way and that as she inspected her fur. She shook off the leftover fuzz that was around her ears and fluffed up the scruff on her neck vainly.

“You look just lovely,” Janice said with an automatic smile, and hopped back to let her customer out of the chair. “You can pay up front with Charles. Have a great day.”

“Oh, you _too_ , sweetie!” The vixen shook Janice’s paw, and slipped away before the wallaby realized she had snuck paper money into it. Janice tried not to look, but couldn’t help herself. She immediately regretted it.

“A three buck tip?” she muttered under her breath. “Seriously?”

She stuffed the few bills into her apron heatedly and hopped over to grab a broom and dustpan. Janice thought about the tiny tip and frowned, her brain doing mathematical backflips on how she’d make her rent if she kept getting such poor tips. She wondered how big the pool of money had gotten for the impending event that had Beverly all hot and bothered. Putting in a small wager wouldn’t break her, but winning the pool could potentially give her bank account a nice boost. When Biddy passed her by again, Janice pulled her aside.

“Alright, how can I get in on this pool?”

There was a mischievous glint in Biddy’s eyes. “Cutting it close, aren’t you? Well, they haven’t announced the start yet, so I’ll let you put your money in. Step in the break room and I’ll get the chart for you.”

It didn’t take but half a minute to reset her station, and Janice bounded to the back room as the radio went to (yet another) commercial break. Biddy was at the rickety old table already, carefully unfolding a large paper with a grid of names and odds, and a list of “side bets” all laid out in her looping handwriting.

“Whoa.” Janice could feel her eyes crossing a little as she tried to make sense of the complicated betting table. “What exactly am I looking at?”

Biddy pointed to the grid side. “So, over here is the main table of who exactly Judy Hopps is tying the knot with, right? This is a must bet, and the minimum ante is five bucks. Once you put in your bet on the Couple Pool, then you can put whatever amount you want on any side bet, two maximum.”

Janice read through the names on the table and eyed up the participating coworkers. Not surprisingly, Bev’s initials were in big, bold, black writing beside _Jack Savage_ , while Biddy was in good company with a few other ladies beside _Nick Wilde_. Someone had even scrawled an enthusiastic “Go WildeHopps!” in the margin. Some of the other options were to be expected: Finnick, who everyone knew was Nick Wilde’s best fox friend and constantly seen with him and Judy about Zootopia; two “other” selections, No-Name Buck and No-Name Other Mammal; and her family’s business partner, Gideon Grey. Janice did a double take at a few of the choices.

“ _Gazelle_? No way…” And then, “Chief Bogo? Someone seriously placed a bet on _Chief Bogo_?”

“Everyone has their preference,” Biddy said with a shrug. “I don’t judge, but I do manage the money. Time’s running short to place your wager, so what’ll it be?”

“Okay, umm… what type of side bets are there?”

“Typical wedding drama that might be reported or caught on camera. An objection, a brawl, a wardrobe malfunction. I have a few bets on ‘stood up at the alter.’”

“Wow… that’s ridiculous.” Janice pulled a five-spot from her apron and initialed beside her choice with disgust. “You’re ridiculous.”

“And now you are too, love.” Biddy snatched up the bill from her paw and folded the grid back up again. “Pleasure doing business with you. Winnings will be doled out tomorrow once the online video has been carefully reviewed.”

Janice combed her paws over her ears. “Ugh. I feel dirty,” she muttered just as Bev rounded the corner at break-neck speed.

“It’s back on!” she said, a bit out of breath. “Quick, get out front or we’ll miss it!”

They were all together starting to hurry out to the front of the spa when who should saunter up to the break room but their big polar bear boss himself, Mr. Koslov. He looked down on them with a mighty cross expression on his face.

“Can _someone_ tell me why Charles is tending the front alone when customers are waiting to be served?” he asked.

“Sorry, sir, we were just, ah… just coming back from break,” Biddy said.

“You know better than take breaks all at the same time.” Mr. Koslov ducked under the doorframe to fill the little break room with his impressive 11-foot figure as his three employees cowered beneath him. “I have never seen such shoddy work as today. There is a sheep half sheared in one of the private booths, a lion with mane still full of suds, and a bear who is sitting with his paws in cold water and waiting for a pad scrub. I demand an explanation.”

The three looked at each other sheepishly.

“Ah, sir…” Bev began, kneading her paws together. “You see… there’s an… event that’s… a _historic_ event that’s happening right now and… well, we’re trying to hear what’s happening on the radio and…”

“The Hopps wedding is _not_ historic event,” Mr. Koslov interrupted. “Whoever Judy is marrying is lucky mammal and does not deserve her. All will be available to see on computer tonight, I am sure. This should not affect your work.”

“But sir, half the city is shut down for this already,” Bev pressed, “and if we could maybe just end the work day a _little_ early to participate in this momentous…”

“YOU WILL STAY AND DO YOUR JOB OR YOU WILL HAVE NO JOB TO COME TO TOMORROW.” The polar bear’s bellow filled the small room to the brim. The girls trembled beneath his exploding baritone voice. “AM I CLEAR?”

“Yes, sir!” they all squeaked, and scampered around him and back out to their customers.

As it turned out, the ceremony had already begun by the time they had settled back in with their respective clients, but one thing had become clear: Judy Hopps was currently alone at the alter, and her groom was not yet on the scene.

<It’s a beautiful gown, but what a train! I have never seen a train so long on a wedding dress. It is _literally_ ten times longer than the bride is tall… >

“Why don’t they at least say who’s in the wedding party?” Bev whispered after another few minutes had passed and ZNN again affirmed that the cottontail doe was still standing beside her father. Things had, reportedly, started getting very tense. “At least we could rule out a few possibilities if they’d ease up off describing every bead on the dress and focus for a minute on the mammals in attendance.”

Janice ignored her and focused on her customer’s chipped claws. After Mr. Koslov’s scolding, she resolved not to participate any more in this stupid conversation. A shame that she ran into Charles while trying to find the dremel tool to move her task along faster, and, much to her dismay, it was all _he_ wanted to talk about, also.

“Biddy said you joined the pool at the last minute,” the coyote said as he untangled the power cord from the other shared tools under the front desk. “Who’d you put your money on?”

Jan shifted her feet and reached for the dremel. “Well, I--”

“Because I put a twenty on Benjamin,” Charles confided, moving the tool just a little out of reach. “They are _way_ too affectionate with each other to just be friends. My sister’s best mate works in the records department at the ZPD, and she says Officer Hopps is always giving Benjamin a peck on the cheek at least once a day, so you just _know…_ ”

“Charles, not that I want to discuss this any longer… because I _don’t_ , but…” Janice snatched the dremel from his paws. “Who the heck is Benjamin?”

Charles looked appalled. “Benjamin Clawhauser? The ZPD dispatcher?”

Janice blinked. “The cheetah at the front desk?”

“Yeah!”

“The chubby one.”

“That’s right.”

“The chubby, clearly gay cheetah.”

“That’s what I sa… wait, _what_?” The look on Charles’ face became a mix of confusion and abject horror. “You’re joking, right?”

“Completely serious,” Janice said bluntly while trying her hardest not to laugh. She started to hop back to her customer. “Your sister’s best mate trolled you big time. Say goodbye to your money.”

“Shoot! BIDDY!”

The old goat didn’t even look up from the paw she was busy scrubbing. “No, Charles. The pool is closed and you can’t change your bet.”

“SHOOT!”

The three had a hearty giggle at poor Charles’ expense for a little bit. Once the last customer had paid his bill, Charles left in a huff without so much as a goodbye.

As they were all finishing up with the last of their customers’ needs, the radio started to become more audible, but less informative. Still no groom, and it was half an hour past the ceremony start time.

“Sheesh, whoever put their money on ‘stood up at the alter’ is going to make a _killing_ ,” Bev commented as they sterilized their tools and started to generally straighten up their areas. “So, who did you decide to bet on, Janice?”

“Well, I--”

<THIS JUST IN, ZNN LISTENERS.>

“OH MY GOD, SHUT UP, IT’S HAPPENING,” Bev shrieked, leaping over to the radio and held it up to her ear expectantly. Janice sighed, shook her head, and hung up her apron.

<There is a disturbance in the colony now, and it appears that the crowd of rabbits is parting to make way for… OH MY GOODNESS! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!>

“WHAT?!” Beverly yelled at the radio. “WHO IS IT?!”

<This is a real shocker for many mammals, folks, and I know quite a few of you are going to be disappointed, but it appears that the moment we’ve all been waiting for has finally arrived. We have her betrothed on the scene, and it’s-->

With a distinct sound of feedback, the radio completely cut out, along with the Palace lights. Bev screamed, and Mr. Koslov ducked into the front room from the back with his jacket draped over his arm.

“Work is ended, ladies,” he said casually as he locked the back rooms with his keys and smiled at his horrified employees. Bev was looking back and forth between him and the dead radio she held in her paws, mouth agape and eyes wild. Biddy was just standing with her jacket half on and staring in disbelief at the almost sobbing stoat.

Janice chuckled to herself, and hopped after her boss as he headed out the front door.

“Good evening, Janice,” Mr. Koslov said as he held the door open for her. “And good luck with your wager,” he added with a wink. Janice smiled and hopped at a brisk pace toward Central Station and home.

Whatever she won come morning, or didn’t win, was still well worth the look on Bev’s face.

“One side, marsupial!” Bev jetted past her, with Biddy close on her heels.

“Hurry, Janice!” she yelled over her shoulder. “Bev’s car is just a block over! We might still be able to catch the after-commercial recap!”

_Oh, for the love of…_

But still… it would be more than an hour in the subway. No cell service, no wifi. All that time waiting… wondering… hoping… _praying…_

“Hey!” Janice shouldered her bag tighter and bounded after them. “Wait for me!”

**Author's Note:**

> I will let you all decide what the outcome is. I really don't do much shipping. No harbor here! Dock your ships someplace else. Thanks for reading.


End file.
